Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Author's Note: This poem includes some of the things I've learned from the novel, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard, and it shows some philosophy that was in the book. I didn't get very far in the book but it's a very difficult read and requires a lot of time. Even though I didn't finish the book there was still a lot to learn from it. It taught that seeing the world in the most raw forms possible is a good way to live and that by simply paying attention can tell us so much about the world that we might of overlooked. This really is a beautiful book and even though it wasn't the most exciting, it was still wonderfully written and very inspiring to read. Also I wanted to experiment with the form of the poem and how people read it. Comment and tel me what you think. I hope you enjoy this poem!


I'm the water.
I'm the earth.
I'm the sun.
I'm the world.
I am the animals, humans and plants.


I'm a free soul.
Left here to explore.
To see.
Because seeing is all we need.
But
No
One
Ever
Sees.


I watch
and I stalk
Along the banks of the rivers
And the fields of wildflowers
Nothing can stop me from
Stalking, seeing, experiencing


I look at the mountain
Then the hills in front of that
Then the rows and rows of trees before that
Then I focus on the things right in front of me
Seeing everything,
Experiencing
Everything


Innocence
The white mist over --
Reality
Separating learning from
Experiencing


The sun is setting now
The light fading from the air
Night - dark - so full of fear
Fear that grows
Along
With
The
N i g h t


Why are we scared of the dark?
The unknown -- scares us
Because at night we cannot see
Fear clouds out beauty
Surprises at every corner


We are so lost in this world
To even start to understand it
We have to ask --
The right questions first
By simply
O p e n i n g
Our
Eyes

-----------------------------------------

 Author's Note:  This book, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard, has taught me so much about things and has pretty much changed the way I see things.  This post is about most of the stuff I learned from the book and I think that these things are important.  I used a weird form in this post but I thought that it was a good idea to write down things the way I read them.  That means that the poems in this are how I read that part of the book.  This book was poetic and a story and an essay, all at the same time.  Also, the organization of this post is the order I read it in the book.  I loved this book because even though it was so hard to read, I still got so much out of it.  I'm not even done with the book yet and I still have a ton more to read so this isn't even half of it. Well, this book definitely has impacted my life and maybe after you read my post, you'll try to read it too.  Oh and sorry this post is so long but it was hard to get all of it into this so please just enjoy reading it, even if you don't read the whole thing.

Sometimes, when reading, you come across books that are especially beautiful but also especially difficult.  People tend to overlook these types of books and walk past their beauty because all they see are the challenges.  People don't like to think and they will do anything to avoid it.  Personally, I like the challenge; I like the feeling of discovery.  It makes me takes risk and write about things that I wouldn't usually write about.  These types of books can even help someone understand life more than when they started.  Not like anyone really can understand life.  This book told me that we have to find the right questions first, before we can even start to put together the correct questions.

"In the Koran, Allah asked, ' The heaven and the earth and all in between, thinkest thou I made them in jest?"  The question is asking what we think of the created universe.  I think that we will never know.  No matter how hard we try we will never know every expanse of space in the universe because it goes unending.  This is the problem because some people can't except that there is no ending, they search and search but truly nothing ever ends.  Our sun will go out but there will always be light and there will always be the creation of stars and life and humans, just maybe not in the same place or time and it may not be the same but everything will always go on. 

It's important to leave a mark on this world and never regret a single thing.  Make something so beautiful that when you leave this world, that thing is what you are, only it will go on forever; you will never be forgotten.  By placing yourself among the starchy pages of a book you are leaving a part of yourself that can live forever.  By falling in love and creating a family, you are creating something that will forever go on; far beyond your time on earth.  It would be nice to know that when I leave, there will always be a little bit of me left behind; a little part of me immortal. 

Years ago, doctors found a way to give people who were blind from birth a new chance.  They did many experiments with these people and they found out that some of them didn't like to see because being blind was a comfort; they liked the world as they pictured it, not as how it really was.  They have never known space, height or dimension and it was all too overwhelming for them; they couldn't bare the thought that the world was so much bigger than what they had touched, smelt and tasted.   

An experiment, a surgery

A disease leaving you blind

What would you give?

To get a new chance

But some

They don't like the light

They don't like to learn

They want the blindness

It's too much

To handle

They want the innocence

The blindness is home

I have tried to see in color patches, like the people who are new to the colors and shapes of the world, but it's very complicated.  I look at people and all I see is a mix of colors, not individual, divided colors.  These people that are seeing for the first time they see the independent colors; they separate the colors from the rest of the colors there.  Shadows to them are just darker shades of the color; the person or object is not three dimensional but two dimensional.  This is such a weird idea to me, someone who has seen the same way since birth, it's weird to think that our world is just a whole bunch of colors put together. 

"This is philosophically interesting in a rather mournful way, since it means that only the simplest animals perceive the universe as it is." - Donald E. Carr; Chap. 2 page 21;

I am a deer

I see the meadow

And the grass

And all the other animals

I see the humans

They never see me

For I am nature

And they cannot see

This beauty - that is mine

They only see basics

They see the grass

But they do not see it

They just see the object

Not the idea

They are obstinate

They refuse

They think they rule

But they don't

They don't know a single thing about this world

They are the ones that walk with their eyes closed

Isn't it sad that we, as one of the most complex races in the world, can't even understand that world as much as a simple animal like a deer can?  Something that humans tend to do is imagine ourselves as different animals.  Some people are made to be deer and some are fish but it all does the same thing for us; it helps us learn more about life.  These adventures we take only help us get more in depth with nature and our surroundings.  These experiences are some of the most exhilarating  things that happen to us in our lives; they are some of the most meaningful things in our lives.

It starts when we are young, when we first surface from innocence and we start to watch and listen to the world around us.  We start to think and question what really is the world.  What really is the universe?  Why am I here now - in this time? What is the point…of everything? Curiosity is burning bright in us at this time of our life and we take the risks to find out.

Think.  Think how really small Earth is compared to the whole universe.  Think about everything in your life.  What does it mean?  That expanse of space that lays beyond our atmosphere and around our microscopic planet is tons and tons of stars and planets; everything separated into individual groups - everything light-years away from each other, separated by blackness and nothingness.  Why do we seem so big, when we are really so small?

Have you ever really looked at the dew that forms on the grass in the morning, gotten down on the ground and looked at the individual droplets of water on the green blades of grass?  Have you ever noticed that man who holds the door open; have you ever looked in his eyes and seen the good there? Do you remember the sensation you feel when rain pricks your arms and face.  Remember it, savor it.  Look closely, watch intently and feel intensely because even though people, animals and nature look simple, they are actually much more complicated than you think.  Look at someone, something and let the beauty sink in.

Attempting perfection

A tempting illusion

Human weakness

Simply -- ignorant humans

Perfection brings

Depression

Humans function off chaos

Organization sets us off - insanity

What we need?

Incompletion

Complications

Everything chaotic

It keeps us sane

This unknowing

This spontaneity

It keeps us intact -- whole

The beauty of darkness and the world of unknowing is what draws me in.  I sit there and look into the dark, searching.  Everything is alive in the night.  When we are tucking into bed and resting our heads on our nice feather pillows; the bats and creatures of the night are calling and crawling and flying.  They are alive.  The fact that life continues when our day ends is fascinating, beautiful, in fact.  

"'Observe,' said da Vinci,' observe in the streets at twilight, when the day is cloudy, the loveliness and tenderness spread on the faces of men and women.'" -Chapter 3; Observation is something that is greatly ignored in this world.  People who observe know the world better than anyone else.   They are the courageous ones because they have the guts to stand up with the world and learn the good and bad of it; not many people can say that they do that.  These people can see without trying, they can see the birds hiding in the thick, bristly pine among the hundreds of  pines.  They have the knack for it and some people don't.  Some people are too scared to see, they prefer to stay blind and innocent and not expose themselves to the world.  

"How can an old world be so innocent?" Chapter 3, Page 43;

There are many different ways of looking at this quote and one is that there are so many people in this world that think they know everything; they think they possess all the knowledge that there could ever be but that is their fatal flaw.  There will always be more knowledge than anyone can ever contain.  It is impossible to be all-knowing even though it is a peaceful thought.  The idea that you know everything; that there will never be fear of the unknown and no more questions, just the serenity of knowing. Most people give up on obtaining more knowledge because they get scared; they like the closure and "full-capacity" of the limited knowledge.  Truthfully, though, we are so innocent because knowledge keeps expanding and, frankly, not even the most intelligent man will ever be to catch up. 

Another view is that people are more close-minded people in this world than there are open-minded;  the open-minded are being canceled out.  Every time an open-minded person has an intriguing idea, there is a close-minded person to close them out -- voting them out.  This holds us back from knowledge; making us incapable of getting anywhere in the world.  Our world will always be so much more innocent than we think because of this and there really is nothing we can do because it's just as hard to change someone's views as it is to force a fish to breathe air. 

In the end, everything in the world comes down to knowledge and how we process and use it.  There are people who choose to the "ignorance is bliss" way but there are people who really see the importance behind it.  These people take the time to observe and let curiosity take over; these are the people who can define happiness because they let everything beautiful and worthwhile in life sink into them.   They find happiness in the sunrises and in the sun against their skin; they find the surprise of the first snow and the serenity of a newborns first smile. They find the beauty in every person around them and they find the beauty in the world itself; they are the people who really begin to understand what it means to be on this earth.   We must always remember that we have to find the right questions to ask before we can answer any of them;  maybe it's impossible to answer "what's the meaning of life?" because it's not the right question but  maybe we already know the answer because it's right in front of our faces.  Maybe all we have in life is the questions, but no answers and the thing  is, we may never know.