Author's Note: I guess I wrote this because I was in a bad mood and was for some reason thinking about people who just give up. I chose to write this poem as a big metaphor so I hope it's a good one. I see failure as a type of war, a war that you fight in your mind. You have to fight to keep going, to keep being successful otherwise your own mind will take you down. I think failure is a necessary thing in life but you can't let it get to you. Well, anyway, I hope you like this and please comment and tell me what you think.
Look around
at this place
you look at the
potholes and broken glass
You see
you remember
the sun and joy
that soaked this place
It is no longer here
the place you once knew
is disappearing
almost gone
There is no fighting anymore
just defeat and terror
fill this empty crater
that was once home
There is no hope
there is no love
there is no happiness
like there used to
This place you once knew
is different
it is like that place
drop off the earth-replaced
You begin to cry
you miss it
your home
your family
You lay there
alone and scared
a little child
among the rumble
You become part of it
this place you hate most
you let it take you
you gave up
I really liked that poem. It kind of made me depressed but I thought it was really good. It flowed really well and you but a really good but sad picture in the readers mind. Nice job Morgan :)
ReplyDeleteThe author's note really made this piece understandable. I liked how you explained that failure is a type of war. You could really see where you were coming from on this poem. Good job.
ReplyDeleteYeah the author's note really helped me on this one haha. This was soooo good! The overall point and inspiration was amazing, which helped turn this into a really good poem. The only thing I would have to say is that maybe you could add some more punctuation at the end of each line to really express what you were thinking. But this was truly amazing. Great job
ReplyDeleteI really like how you made a story into a poem. it added to the effect and it was a really good poem. nice job.
ReplyDeleteI really like this poem Morgan, it has a real sense of irony to it and ,despite the sadness, I love the ending. It is just like the icing on the cake and is just a great way to end something like that. Even though we just finished 451, I don't really love when authors have this sad, long story and then at the end it's like :Yeah, we made it, hooray, hoorah1 i think that if you choose a mode, to stick with it most of the time. Great job!
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